Saturday, November 10, 2007
"Brazen Careerist"by Penelope Trunk
" If you want people to like you, give them compliments. If you understand what worries someone, and what he is trying hardest to achieve personally, then you will easily spot opportnities for praise. Don't just say , " good job " for the sake of it ! in fact, don't just say " good job ". The most effective compliments are very specific. And creative words are more memorable than standard words.
The most common types of praise are about possessions " Nice car" or about actions " great shot". Praise of character is the most rare and most memorable praise of all ! Bu it's also the most difficult because it requires you to understand the person you are praising and be thoughtful about how you talk to them.
To find genuine ways oto compliment people rquires spending a lot of time looking for the good in people. To increase the weight of your compliments, establish yourself as a trusted resource.. to make a genuine connection, give genuine compliments , but balance them with insightful criticism. With the right balance people will view you as a smarter person and they will take all your comments ( compliments and criticism) seriously.
So, concentrate on the good in people, and compliment it throughout the day, you jsut might feel like you are actually surrounded by kind, competenet and interesting people. And research shows that they will find you to be more kind and competenet as well.
ACTION EXERCISES : 1. First, do it with yourself. Take a paper and write all that is good in you . And balance it with construcive self criticism. ( Time : 15 minutes)
2. List 5 people you have a ' troublesome relationship'. Do it with them. Write down all their possible plus points. Tell them.Balance it with constructive criticism. (Time for prep : 20 minutes)
Excerpted from : " Brazen Careerist " by Ms.Penelope Trunk.
The most common types of praise are about possessions " Nice car" or about actions " great shot". Praise of character is the most rare and most memorable praise of all ! Bu it's also the most difficult because it requires you to understand the person you are praising and be thoughtful about how you talk to them.
To find genuine ways oto compliment people rquires spending a lot of time looking for the good in people. To increase the weight of your compliments, establish yourself as a trusted resource.. to make a genuine connection, give genuine compliments , but balance them with insightful criticism. With the right balance people will view you as a smarter person and they will take all your comments ( compliments and criticism) seriously.
So, concentrate on the good in people, and compliment it throughout the day, you jsut might feel like you are actually surrounded by kind, competenet and interesting people. And research shows that they will find you to be more kind and competenet as well.
ACTION EXERCISES : 1. First, do it with yourself. Take a paper and write all that is good in you . And balance it with construcive self criticism. ( Time : 15 minutes)
2. List 5 people you have a ' troublesome relationship'. Do it with them. Write down all their possible plus points. Tell them.Balance it with constructive criticism. (Time for prep : 20 minutes)
Excerpted from : " Brazen Careerist " by Ms.Penelope Trunk.
